I both adore and respect your candor. Fried chicken sounds like good comfort food. I’d kind of like to hide in my bedroom with a chocolate pot de creme or two and some nice bourbon. We are up to our eyeballs in stress aren’t we?
I must say that photo of Fergus totally slays me. 🥰 He seems like excellent company for these times. Thanks for putting your heart on the page. It matters. 💛
Elissa....been there, done that! Really good ice cream like Haagen Dazs was "my bitch." Back in the eighties, I was living with my then boyfriend who after five years, dumped me for another woman who dumped him (Karma). I was becoming less and less interested in him and did not have the tools or language to end the relationship. So to deal with my stress and evasiveness, I would go across the street every day after he left for work and before I started my job later in the afternoon, and buy a tub of Haagen Dasz...then return to our apartment and savour its frozen sweetness. When I was ready to leave for work, I would take my empty carton of evidence down to the outside garbage to hide my offence and shame. Stress does weird things to us when we are overwhelmed and don't know how to handle a situation and fear the outcome. Thankfully I now have healthier ways of dealing with my stress as you do by finding solace in listening to good music, reading good books, gardening, enjoying the love of a beloved pet, and having a supportive spouse. Soldier on!!
"Or the anti-pleasure French Protestant mayor in Chocolat, who is found one morning passed out in the window of the local chocolatier." I watch Chocolat over and over again just for that scene because I could be that guy in that moment. Chocolate is my favorite food.
This is a beautiful essay. I'm totally with you re: stress. I came to the bucolic Blue Ridge Mountains for two weeks to get out of Washington, DC. There's only so much evil any person can take in such close proximity.
I feel so comforted and less alone after reading this. I put so much pressure on myself about food as my blood chemistry numbers are bad, and I so often fail in maintaining a healthy diet. I have hidden in the car with fried chicken, and Taco Bell, and so many other delicious but terrible food. Then I've had such self-loathing and blaming myself that I now deserve every bad health outcome. Your words are grace and mercy to me.
I both adore and respect your candor. Fried chicken sounds like good comfort food. I’d kind of like to hide in my bedroom with a chocolate pot de creme or two and some nice bourbon. We are up to our eyeballs in stress aren’t we?
I must say that photo of Fergus totally slays me. 🥰 He seems like excellent company for these times. Thanks for putting your heart on the page. It matters. 💛
Psalm for the Parking Lot Feast
Blessed be the car seat,
the cracked leather throne of secret dining,
where grease stains anoint the weary
and crumbs fall like incense.
I have spoken of the table—
its sanctity, its gathering,
the holy hush of candlelight and communion.
But lo, I am no priest when stress tightens its grip.
I am a fugitive at the deli counter,
a penitent by the fryer,
a creature driven by the gospel of salt.
Forgive me, O heart that ticks like a watch on borrowed time.
My lineage is thick with warnings:
bypasses, failures, numbers redder than wrath.
Still I worship,
still I crave.
Mustard stains are my sacraments.
I eat as the world spins absurdly,
as cruelty mounts in morning headlines,
as my genes whisper ruin
from ancestors’ hearts worn thin.
I eat as the engine idles
and my own history knocks gently
against the ribs.
I do not hide for shame—
I hide for quiet,
for a moment that is mine and not the world’s.
For fried chicken, my beloved betrayer.
For a crisp glass of what I ought not.
But still,
I look upon the face of my beloved,
and the dog, keeper of unconditional grace,
and I sing.
I write.
I cook Thai fish cakes and love well
until the next mercy I do not deserve
draws me back to the parking lot.
Dennis! I would worship in your temple all the days, and especially on the holy days that you described.
Amazing, Dennis. Amazing. 😁
Thank you for "The Lost Words Blessing."
Thank you for sharing your humanity. Makes me adore your style even more.
I just had some some delicious and I mean delicious gas station fried chicken today… 🤭
It’s often the very best.
I think survival is different in this era! I’m glad you enjoyed a little fried chicken :)
❤️❤️❤️
Elissa....been there, done that! Really good ice cream like Haagen Dazs was "my bitch." Back in the eighties, I was living with my then boyfriend who after five years, dumped me for another woman who dumped him (Karma). I was becoming less and less interested in him and did not have the tools or language to end the relationship. So to deal with my stress and evasiveness, I would go across the street every day after he left for work and before I started my job later in the afternoon, and buy a tub of Haagen Dasz...then return to our apartment and savour its frozen sweetness. When I was ready to leave for work, I would take my empty carton of evidence down to the outside garbage to hide my offence and shame. Stress does weird things to us when we are overwhelmed and don't know how to handle a situation and fear the outcome. Thankfully I now have healthier ways of dealing with my stress as you do by finding solace in listening to good music, reading good books, gardening, enjoying the love of a beloved pet, and having a supportive spouse. Soldier on!!
Best title ever
"Or the anti-pleasure French Protestant mayor in Chocolat, who is found one morning passed out in the window of the local chocolatier." I watch Chocolat over and over again just for that scene because I could be that guy in that moment. Chocolate is my favorite food.
This is a beautiful essay. I'm totally with you re: stress. I came to the bucolic Blue Ridge Mountains for two weeks to get out of Washington, DC. There's only so much evil any person can take in such close proximity.
Thank you for "Letter to My Dog". My two Goldens are my life, my benevolent dictators, my posse.
Available in 6-12 months will be an awesome injection that will lower one’s APa ( mine is 275) to 5. Exciting news!
you are so great!, I always feel so lifted after reading everything you write.
Thanks
Each time I listen to “The Lost Word Blessing,” I am moved to tears.
I feel so comforted and less alone after reading this. I put so much pressure on myself about food as my blood chemistry numbers are bad, and I so often fail in maintaining a healthy diet. I have hidden in the car with fried chicken, and Taco Bell, and so many other delicious but terrible food. Then I've had such self-loathing and blaming myself that I now deserve every bad health outcome. Your words are grace and mercy to me.
A stunning post. Thank you.
Be well dear one. We need your heart.