I received the message to live now at 3am on July 11, 2001 when my father died. The day after his funeral I applied to the school he drove me to every Sunday as a child. On January 18, 2004 I walked across the stage at Bennington College and took hold the MFA that gave me permission to call myself writer. I worked and worked and lost my way until the next trauma occurred. I remembered my father. I write.
I lost my mom at the end of 2021, my half-sister in April of 2022, and my dad in July of 2023. My firstborn went to college in September (2024) and I thought I might die driving away. My best friend, my dog of 12 years, died at the end of October. We all know what happened in November.
The experience of being here, solidly, and then not being here is shocking. It hurts so much for those of us still with our feet on this planet, but every word you wrote is the truth. There isn’t any time to waste. If I’ve learned nothing else these last few years, I’ve learned that. This made me cry, Elissa. It made my heart clutch. And it made me want that asparagus. Sending you a lot of love today. I hope NYC is good to you 🙏🏼
After several failed attempts, and house moves, I have asparagus growing. I hope to eat some next year. I’ve had packets of seed sit in cupboards, I’ve had crowns sit on shelves. Turns out it grows better in the ground.
What a moving, inspiring treasure of a piece, Elissa. I'm saving this one to reread again and again. I'm also halfway through Permission, which is wonderful.
Tonight I took a dear friend to a fabulous French restaurant and the first thing she shared about her pending move to Northampton is her husband's declaration to no longer put off planting the asparagus. She went on and on about how delicious fresh asparagus tastes, distinctly different than what we find in Whole Foods. OF COURSE I had to share your essay. It was serendipitous. Kismet. You have this way about you, Elissa. You speak in worlds you haven't lived in and you are spot on. Keep writing! [My appetizer was white asparagus mimosa salad. Oh my God!]
I am surprised to realize I've been in this house for 20 years (come Memorial Day weekend), and while I intended to stay, I did not commit to asparagus. Indecisive — where to put it ... so it went no where. I love asparagus and haven't had any yet this year — need to get on that.
We did plant the asparagus, three attempts, patiently waiting the requisite years, which amount to twelve years of waiting. The bed has now been handed over to strawberries. There must be another message in this!
Tonight we are having fresh asperagus for supper...roasted with olive oil and salt! Not because I have grown it...because the farm I go to has harvested! I love to garden but am unable to grow veg. It is a mystery! I have worked hard to stay present and enjoy this moment of my life. Your garden and home sound lovely!💚💚💚🥰🥰🥰
Elissa, thank you for this stunning piece of writing. It is autumn where I live so I have a pumpkin on my table instead of asparagus. But I spent a decade living in the northern hemisphere and I remember well the joyous anticipation of asparagus season! As a keen gardener I have always wanted to grow it too but living in rental properties and the insecurity that comes with that always made it feel like a wasted effort. As you wrote, I might not be living in the house anymore by the time the crop was ready. Now, I am a few weeks from settlement of my first proper adult home, which has an orchard of fruit trees, and where I intend to live for a very long time. But regardless, planting asparagus will be one of the first things I do. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time waiting and planning so thank you not just for the solidarity but for the reminder to make the most of where I am now, to not wait any more 💚
Elissa, I promise to take your sage counsel, as there is no lack of reminders of the ticking clock. As to the asparagus recipe, it sounds divine. Did you perchance get a secret message from our local farmers market? Thank you, John
Now I want to go to the market and buy asparagus....
And yes. Argh. The impossibility of time, which you put beautifully "if only we recognize where we are, and devote ourselves to being in that place until we’re not."
A great reminder. Good timing... I am coming to some endings so have been spending a lot of time reminiscing, nostalgic for the past. Maybe it's time to plant some asparagus instead ;)
I received the message to live now at 3am on July 11, 2001 when my father died. The day after his funeral I applied to the school he drove me to every Sunday as a child. On January 18, 2004 I walked across the stage at Bennington College and took hold the MFA that gave me permission to call myself writer. I worked and worked and lost my way until the next trauma occurred. I remembered my father. I write.
Your writing is such a gift. Never ever think it doesn’t matter. It does❤️
Thank you 🙏🏻
I lost my mom at the end of 2021, my half-sister in April of 2022, and my dad in July of 2023. My firstborn went to college in September (2024) and I thought I might die driving away. My best friend, my dog of 12 years, died at the end of October. We all know what happened in November.
The experience of being here, solidly, and then not being here is shocking. It hurts so much for those of us still with our feet on this planet, but every word you wrote is the truth. There isn’t any time to waste. If I’ve learned nothing else these last few years, I’ve learned that. This made me cry, Elissa. It made my heart clutch. And it made me want that asparagus. Sending you a lot of love today. I hope NYC is good to you 🙏🏼
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
After several failed attempts, and house moves, I have asparagus growing. I hope to eat some next year. I’ve had packets of seed sit in cupboards, I’ve had crowns sit on shelves. Turns out it grows better in the ground.
This is true.
What a moving, inspiring treasure of a piece, Elissa. I'm saving this one to reread again and again. I'm also halfway through Permission, which is wonderful.
Thank you Rob
Tonight I took a dear friend to a fabulous French restaurant and the first thing she shared about her pending move to Northampton is her husband's declaration to no longer put off planting the asparagus. She went on and on about how delicious fresh asparagus tastes, distinctly different than what we find in Whole Foods. OF COURSE I had to share your essay. It was serendipitous. Kismet. You have this way about you, Elissa. You speak in worlds you haven't lived in and you are spot on. Keep writing! [My appetizer was white asparagus mimosa salad. Oh my God!]
🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
I am surprised to realize I've been in this house for 20 years (come Memorial Day weekend), and while I intended to stay, I did not commit to asparagus. Indecisive — where to put it ... so it went no where. I love asparagus and haven't had any yet this year — need to get on that.
I think I need to make the 20-minute drive to my son’s garden and heist some asparagus! It’s just started producing here in southern Wisconsin.
Achingly beautiful reminder ❤️ thank you 🙏
🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
We did plant the asparagus, three attempts, patiently waiting the requisite years, which amount to twelve years of waiting. The bed has now been handed over to strawberries. There must be another message in this!
This was beautiful - thank you.
Beautiful beautiful
Tonight we are having fresh asperagus for supper...roasted with olive oil and salt! Not because I have grown it...because the farm I go to has harvested! I love to garden but am unable to grow veg. It is a mystery! I have worked hard to stay present and enjoy this moment of my life. Your garden and home sound lovely!💚💚💚🥰🥰🥰
Thank you
Elissa, thank you for this stunning piece of writing. It is autumn where I live so I have a pumpkin on my table instead of asparagus. But I spent a decade living in the northern hemisphere and I remember well the joyous anticipation of asparagus season! As a keen gardener I have always wanted to grow it too but living in rental properties and the insecurity that comes with that always made it feel like a wasted effort. As you wrote, I might not be living in the house anymore by the time the crop was ready. Now, I am a few weeks from settlement of my first proper adult home, which has an orchard of fruit trees, and where I intend to live for a very long time. But regardless, planting asparagus will be one of the first things I do. I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time waiting and planning so thank you not just for the solidarity but for the reminder to make the most of where I am now, to not wait any more 💚
Thank you Philippa
Elissa, I promise to take your sage counsel, as there is no lack of reminders of the ticking clock. As to the asparagus recipe, it sounds divine. Did you perchance get a secret message from our local farmers market? Thank you, John
Thank you John
Now I want to go to the market and buy asparagus....
And yes. Argh. The impossibility of time, which you put beautifully "if only we recognize where we are, and devote ourselves to being in that place until we’re not."
A great reminder. Good timing... I am coming to some endings so have been spending a lot of time reminiscing, nostalgic for the past. Maybe it's time to plant some asparagus instead ;)
Thank you