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Lore Wilbert's avatar

I also "attract chronic interrupters." It, and its ensuing issues, is one of the most difficult elements of almost every relationship in my life. I realized this about six years ago and began to try and make some shifts first with those closest to me. I said, "Hey, I recognize there is a pattern in our relationship where I mostly listen and you mostly talk, and then when and if you give me space to talk, I am interrupted by you, your phone, etc. before I can move through my complete thought. I recognize that both of us share some responsibility in this issue: I need to ask for what I need, and you need to consider whether that is something you can give in our relationship."

The conversations mostly went well, but the years that followed have been hard. Sometimes our friendship dwindled out because I tried to hold that boundary and they were unaccustomed to it and it felt strangely harsh coming from me. Sometimes our friendship actually grew deeper because they finally felt like they knew me (because they were finally listening to me!). And some friendships have sadly not changed at all. But I know deep within me that *I* have changed and that's been a really beautiful movement for me.

Also, just wanted to say, I like listening to your thoughts =)

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Joyce Wycoff's avatar

Brilliant explanation of something i've never quite recognized about myself. I write in order to be listened to. Suddenly a flood of examples of being interrupted in mid-story and waiting, after the disruption had cleared, for the person I was with to say ... "you were saying ... " or "finish the story you were telling me ..." It may have happened occasionally but I don't remember it. Thanks for the insight.

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