First, I will definitely try the tasty zucchini recipe even though I'm a lousy cook - because it warms my heart that you find a way to move the needle toward sustenance - and understanding.
There's a book on my "to read" list called The Body Keeps Score. Without ever having read it yet, I am convinced that the body does indeed keep score, and will keep trying to tell us something until we finally listen to it. I recently discovered some journals my mom wrote when my grandmother was living with us for a few years in my teens/her 40's. She was convinced her mother-in-law (who could be particularly cruel and manipulative to all of us; my father avoided and dismissed any conflict) brought on her cancer. There's a part of me that believes it.
After reading the comments, they’ve said everything I was going to say. Enjoy a good nights sleep, enjoy your mornings. Enjoy your wife’s company and LET her run interference.
My mom had dementia and lived to be 96. It was a too long goodbye, as my brother-in-law put it,& he was always kind to her.
I always love your writing and am perpetually grateful to hear someone else describe a mother like mine. (Also so very different from mine, but that nugget of it—the late night calls, the toxicity but still needing to take care, the still caring…so complicated. )
And while I wish no one else had to navigate this, I’m thankful you continue to put it all into words.
Heartache for you. I have many thoughts, but from one caregiver to another, I feel the best thing I can share is deep empathy for you and what you are surviving. Here to read-listen and side-hug.
First, I will definitely try the tasty zucchini recipe even though I'm a lousy cook - because it warms my heart that you find a way to move the needle toward sustenance - and understanding.
You are so strong in the orbit of Stresserma.
This was beautiful, my friend.
Love your description of the DMZ.
There's a book on my "to read" list called The Body Keeps Score. Without ever having read it yet, I am convinced that the body does indeed keep score, and will keep trying to tell us something until we finally listen to it. I recently discovered some journals my mom wrote when my grandmother was living with us for a few years in my teens/her 40's. She was convinced her mother-in-law (who could be particularly cruel and manipulative to all of us; my father avoided and dismissed any conflict) brought on her cancer. There's a part of me that believes it.
Beautiful piece! This hits home.
After reading the comments, they’ve said everything I was going to say. Enjoy a good nights sleep, enjoy your mornings. Enjoy your wife’s company and LET her run interference.
My mom had dementia and lived to be 96. It was a too long goodbye, as my brother-in-law put it,& he was always kind to her.
You’re doing your life now, not hers.
Hugs.
❤️.
I always love your writing and am perpetually grateful to hear someone else describe a mother like mine. (Also so very different from mine, but that nugget of it—the late night calls, the toxicity but still needing to take care, the still caring…so complicated. )
And while I wish no one else had to navigate this, I’m thankful you continue to put it all into words.
"... chips away at my foundation like a game of Jenga." This felt so familiar. The mother wound is the deepest.
Heartache for you. I have many thoughts, but from one caregiver to another, I feel the best thing I can share is deep empathy for you and what you are surviving. Here to read-listen and side-hug.