Absolutely a heart breaking and angry time for me as well. While my husband and I have filled ourselves with dream building years where we felt we could pursue anything...what will remain for our children? I can only hope these times will bring people closer together when they realize how they were duped by the president and the 1%. It takes so much longer to build than to destroy, that is truth. Resist and do what you can. Protests, project mail storm are wonderful ways to release some of this frustration, anger and sorrow. As for the roses, I just made my first batch of wild rose jam. So surprisingly delightful. Ground yourself with cooking simple foods, the kitchen is my go to sanctuary.
Your words, along with Joanna Macy’s and Rilke’s of heartbreak, fear, and stubborn hope will be a strongly braided vine between us all. I have hope that it will sustain us.
The On Being episode with John O’Donohue is one I return to over and over again. I’m deeply sorry to hear your experience of someone laughing in the face of your desperation to ensure another is getting care. Your words on the entanglement of joy and pain deeply resonate. Thank you for the reminder.
I quit drinking alcohol 11 years ago this month and part of my story has been, "Krista Tippet got me sober." For nearly every day of the first 365, I'd set out with my Ipod loaded and would walk the length of one On Being episode. A few interviewees I'd add to your list: Ruby Sales, Nadia Bolz-Weber, Sharon Olds.
That particular essay from Ross Gay is well-thumbed in my copy of his book. Tea stained in a few spots, tear stained in a couple more. It squeezes my heart a bit each time I read it. “Help each other carry our pain”. Exactly what will be needed in the coming months and years.
I am sorry about your roses. The photo of Dawn is lovely— I can smell their perfume.
I (in Seattle) have a small rose in a pot that had terrible black spot last March 2024. Its leaves were falling off. I read that it was a fungus. I sprayed the soil thoroughly, really thoroughly, with diluted hydrogen peroxide. Because that was what I happened to have. I sprayed the plant too! Then I thought I had killed it! But soon all of the green canes that were still green started shooting, and the bush grew back. This year when I saw the first little spots, I sprayed the soil only, and that kept it at bay so far.
It is insane (I mean this literally) that we are expected to (in my case) attend meetings, write thisthatandtheother, deal with admin stuff, plan classes, respond to emails, all as if we don't get up every day and witness entrenched evil working to expand its reach. Thank you for being one of the sources of sanity, one of the people I read who helps me peek around the corner of (what must be) the disassociation I feel nearly constantly--and instead feel the hope that is present even in the ability to grieve.
This was a wonderful essay. Thank you. Some fascinating people to explore and learn from. I’m stunned by the sudden demise of your roses. This is so very odd. It’s almost as if they’ve been poisoned. Don’t give up on them. Roses are tough as hell and will likely come back.
Sending solidarity to you from the UK. I left America 25 years ago for what was supposed to be two or three years in London. We ended up staying and I have no regrets. What’s happening in America breaks my heart. It’s happening in Europe, too. ❤️
Keep going. After all, what else can a caring human soul do?🙏🏼
Absolutely a heart breaking and angry time for me as well. While my husband and I have filled ourselves with dream building years where we felt we could pursue anything...what will remain for our children? I can only hope these times will bring people closer together when they realize how they were duped by the president and the 1%. It takes so much longer to build than to destroy, that is truth. Resist and do what you can. Protests, project mail storm are wonderful ways to release some of this frustration, anger and sorrow. As for the roses, I just made my first batch of wild rose jam. So surprisingly delightful. Ground yourself with cooking simple foods, the kitchen is my go to sanctuary.
So beautifully expressed, Elissa. Thank you.
Your words, along with Joanna Macy’s and Rilke’s of heartbreak, fear, and stubborn hope will be a strongly braided vine between us all. I have hope that it will sustain us.
The On Being episode with John O’Donohue is one I return to over and over again. I’m deeply sorry to hear your experience of someone laughing in the face of your desperation to ensure another is getting care. Your words on the entanglement of joy and pain deeply resonate. Thank you for the reminder.
Thank you.
I quit drinking alcohol 11 years ago this month and part of my story has been, "Krista Tippet got me sober." For nearly every day of the first 365, I'd set out with my Ipod loaded and would walk the length of one On Being episode. A few interviewees I'd add to your list: Ruby Sales, Nadia Bolz-Weber, Sharon Olds.
They were all wonderful episodes. Along with John O’Donohue, my dear friend @Katherine May, Gordon Hempton, and so many others.
That particular essay from Ross Gay is well-thumbed in my copy of his book. Tea stained in a few spots, tear stained in a couple more. It squeezes my heart a bit each time I read it. “Help each other carry our pain”. Exactly what will be needed in the coming months and years.
I am sorry about your roses. The photo of Dawn is lovely— I can smell their perfume.
Lovely, pensive, and profound.
I (in Seattle) have a small rose in a pot that had terrible black spot last March 2024. Its leaves were falling off. I read that it was a fungus. I sprayed the soil thoroughly, really thoroughly, with diluted hydrogen peroxide. Because that was what I happened to have. I sprayed the plant too! Then I thought I had killed it! But soon all of the green canes that were still green started shooting, and the bush grew back. This year when I saw the first little spots, I sprayed the soil only, and that kept it at bay so far.
It is insane (I mean this literally) that we are expected to (in my case) attend meetings, write thisthatandtheother, deal with admin stuff, plan classes, respond to emails, all as if we don't get up every day and witness entrenched evil working to expand its reach. Thank you for being one of the sources of sanity, one of the people I read who helps me peek around the corner of (what must be) the disassociation I feel nearly constantly--and instead feel the hope that is present even in the ability to grieve.
Keep going ! And your roses will not die of black spot - just wait for Spring, tend them - and joy will return from the barest branch .
I'm so sorry about your roses! 😭
I predict they come back, better than before ❤️🔥
So wonderful and human, “my own mortal coil frayed” resonates.
THIS:
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. / Just keep going. No feeling is final.
This was a wonderful essay. Thank you. Some fascinating people to explore and learn from. I’m stunned by the sudden demise of your roses. This is so very odd. It’s almost as if they’ve been poisoned. Don’t give up on them. Roses are tough as hell and will likely come back.
Sending solidarity to you from the UK. I left America 25 years ago for what was supposed to be two or three years in London. We ended up staying and I have no regrets. What’s happening in America breaks my heart. It’s happening in Europe, too. ❤️
The desperation I feel threatens my calm constantly but if I really let it out and figuratively rend my clothing I fear it may not retreat. 😔