On Yearning and Risk
That hovering finger reminds me of my favorite line from the Dory Previn song "Children Of Coincidence"- "If the planets were in perfect place, if your sign was on the rise, if the stars were in complete accord, but the sun was in your eyes, you'd have only seen my shadow, as I passed you on the street... and it might have been a hundred years, before our souls would meet again."
Now, at 64, so many of the same thoughts. Like you, I know longer yearn for some of those "bigger" things because I'm not sure I ever wanted them or was truly prepared for them at the time. It is the gift of living longer. Gratitude grows. Also, it becomes truly obvious that there is definitely an expiration date coming so hone in and strap up! ;)
I very nearly deleted the (blind, courageous) email my (now) husband sent asking me out (after I had declined politely to be set up with him months before). If it hadn't been February on MV (and what excuse would I have for not meeting up for coffee), my life would be very different. I'm very glad you didn't delete that message from Susan!
"moving forward, always forward, and keeping my heart where my feet are." Gorgeous.
what may have been on the other side of the sliding doors...I often spend more time imagining those possibilities as what I believe might have been BETTER when truly they’re just what might have been...
I get it!!! The what ifs, the almosts, the fear... The need to endure, to keep going - notwithstanding everything intrinsic and extrinsic that interferes. I've suffered the hovering finger many times , and a lot more often in recent months. I'm coming up to the edge of a big birthday, too -- nearly a decade ahead of you. It actually feels good to read that someone else has similar sensations that they are NOT fearful of declaring in public. I've had a website and a blog for quite a few years, but it remains fairly private, despite being published on the internet. Maybe you have inspired me to share it!
Thank you for this, Elissa. It resonates perfectly with me.
Just lovely writing. It made me think of Tanya Shadrick’s memoir The Cure for Sleep, how we are impacted by our families and hold back, don’t take opportunities and then what can happen if we do. Her writing is beautiful. Maybe you are already familiar with her since she was on The Wintering podcast? Always look forward to your posts!
Beautiful ! I can relate. Thank you, Elissa.
Wow! What a fantastic article thank you for it. I could really identify with what you were saying. Thanks again 😊
Subscribed due to this beautiful piece.
Moving forward is my plan
Start swimming be bold be brave be first
Wow! This hits hard. I'm a year behind you and play this tape often. Time is running. Let's go!