24 Comments

I had a student in transition a couple of years ago who I mostly just took to lunch, and tried to keep alive until the end of the year. I kept telling them stories of NYC in the 80s, of the struggles people I loved had coming out in the 80s and 90s. One day, exasperated, they said "It's not like being gay! Being gay is normal!"

Oh sweet summer child. Glad we'd come that far. Also glad this lovely person is no longer living in Montana, where their life is in danger.

I hate seeing the right wing try to drive everyone back into closets. Today, we have Montanan's protesting outside the state capitol where the GOP legislative leaders are refusing to recognize a fellow legislator from Missoula because she called them out for the blood that will be on their hands after passing a virulent anti-trans bill. We already have the highest suicide rate in the nation.

Great piece Elissa -- keep up the good work.

Expand full comment

Thank you 🙏🏻

Expand full comment

Wasn't anything special. They were a kid I liked, who was great company, and who wasn't eating. What else are you going to do? I'm an adult, so I fed them once in a while.

Expand full comment

The seemingly ordinary kindness can be a lifeline. Knowing that and acting on it is indeed special. Thank you.

Expand full comment

It should be so much more normal than it is! Don't get me started on academics who loathe their students ... but I had any number of adults reach out a hand when I was in my 20s and 30s, so it's always a joy to get to pay it back.

Expand full comment

Your Dad...I see you in his sweet face!

Expand full comment

He was a wonderful man. Thank you. ❤️

Expand full comment

plus, Shirley! Just can tell what a good woman she was by looking at that expression on her face!

Expand full comment

Goosebumps up and down my body after your final paragraph and statement.

Bravo!

Expand full comment

Don’t expect internal logic or consistency in the right to life movement or their political handlers. That said, I concur with all of your positions in this essay and appreciate the uniqueness of your perspective.

Expand full comment

So very very true.

Expand full comment

Also here and also queer. Topic near and dear to my heart.

Expand full comment

I’m soooooo glad I scrolled back and found this! My first restack.

I was one of the thousands who marched to Sheeps Meadow on the first Stonewall anniversary though (still closeted at work) and my heart aches for your pain years later in 1977.

No easy walk to freedom.

Expand full comment

I love you.

Expand full comment

❤️

Expand full comment

Thank you.

Expand full comment

So true. 💕

Expand full comment

What an excellent point. Thank you!

Expand full comment

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Expand full comment

I hear ya. Only I was growing up in Texas, Austin, albeit, but early 70’s. Thanks for your words. Couldn’t agree with you more.

Expand full comment

It was somehow lost on me that you were from Austin....I just came from Corsicana.....

Expand full comment

Yes, I know. Have been keeping tabs. Collin Street Bakery Fruitcake Capital of the world where Mom ordered from every single year. Hope it was fruitful! Sounds like they were good to you and you made some cool writer friends. Xo

Expand full comment

They were lovely and my cohort was extraordinary.

Expand full comment

Loved reading this article. You certainly tell the whole story, always, in such a wonderful way, as only you can do. Not only are you brilliant of mind; you are very truthful. We love and respect you always.

Expand full comment