63 Comments

for f's sakes.

thank g-d you exist.

Expand full comment

I kept thinking WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS.

Expand full comment

Powerful writing. For future reference, I've found that the most reliable way to reach a human is to say "suspected FRAUD". The F word gets you directly to a human on just about any company's loss-mitigation team, usually within 3 minutes.

Expand full comment

I know what you mean. But saying "suspected fraud" to a bot when you have no access to your own authenticator is a great way to have your Substack scrubbed.

Expand full comment

Well you just spoke directly to me. From invisibility to voiceless to non-existent. AI is no friend of ours. Not as a human replacement. So happy your friend was able to guide you one way or another to another human. We do still exist.

Expand full comment

Oof. I feel this. Just let my hair go grey, and I cannot get over the immediate invisibility shield that seems to have put up! Glad you persevered on Substack. You are not invisible to me. 🫶

Expand full comment

Being gray at a young age used to get me compliments ALL THE TIME. Post pandemic shutdown I am soooo invisible! It has its advantages and also- it's weird!

Expand full comment

I love this essay and I’m so glad you exist in the same time as me. As a middle aged queer person I have felt invisible to most heterosexual men for a long time, and I actually count that as a blessing. I used to have homophobic slurs hurled at me and I was occasionally sexually harassed but now neither of those happen. That said, if an AI insisted I don’t exist I would definitely take issue with it.

Expand full comment

Brilliant! Thank you so very much for deftly saying what I was feeling when I went through this same situation with Instagram/Meta last month -- my IG account is still in the wind. So now I have to fret about Substack too? Or continue doing what I've been doing, writing, painting and posting as proof of life and existence whether anyone is looking or not. xo Lorene

Expand full comment

Oh, how I can commiserate as another 60 year old woman.

Expand full comment

Glad you’ve been resurrected 😊

Expand full comment

Hah!

Expand full comment

Chatbots are the work of the Antichrist. :) Pre-programmed responses and algorithms are even less responsive than call centres worked by people in far away countries. We are all just one existential crisis away from complete collapse and the disappearance of our existence.

Expand full comment

I stopped existing about five years ago so I feel this. Am I bad, though, for laughing? You've made something enormously aggravating and exasperating and unpleasant and unfair so funny at moments in the telling.

Expand full comment

Towanda!

If it helps at all I started reading your blog forever ago and have read each book as soon as it’s published. I’m 46. I live in the Boston area and one time on IG I saw you checked in to Sofra in Cambridge - I had been there a few hours earlier and I was SO MAD that I missed the opportunity to fan girl you. Not sure you would have liked it but I would have taken my chances!

Expand full comment

It makes me miss the old world but we know it wasn't perfect either. It is so important to see ourselves, to see each other, and to be seen.

Expand full comment

Just popping on to also say I'm so incredibly glad you exist!

Expand full comment

I experience this too. You described it perfectly. Is it just dealing with aging? No. It's invisibility. and nothing makes me more invisible than my laptop does.

Expand full comment

I am so glad you exist. I’ve never met you in real life and still I know you exist and that you matter no matter what. I’m 71 and a few years back in these same existential throes I wrote a story about watching my own death. A kind of awareness I will only ever know through my imaginative mind. Which is very powerful. As is yours.

Expand full comment

So very happy that you DO exist!!!

Expand full comment