Thank you for sharing the reality of difficulty around "No" and importance of it ... I think we all kind of know that we need to establish boundaries but learning what that actually means for us personally and how to do it in the way that is right for us is a learning process.
i could listen to you two all day. found this conversation helpful and comforting. responding only when i really CAN, remembering the shoreline is always shifting.
in some seasons i make myself more available than others, to be sure; finding as i get older i worry not about what folks will experience if i'm not answering right away, i'm more interested in the quality of connection we can create when I *can* be present.
the simultaneous (and ironic) overexposure and isolation you mention feels important to track and modulate the best we can.
lastly, i appreciate your candor and care for one another, and for all of us: both your readers and fellow writers. felt super nourishing to sit with you both.
Thank you for this Elissa and Katherine -- it's a really hard area and this is a courageous and honest conversation to have in a space where you are also commited to your readers. It's so important to raise issues of boundaries and good to see models of them. The taking them personally really resonated -- i work as an editor as well as writer and when I take writing blocks away from the editing nad publishing can get some very dramatic push back from some of the writers I work with (tiny, tiny few, but they make up in persistence and vigour for their small numbers). Like you, I often end up thinking it's easier to comply than to face the wrangle when I'm back to work, but really this just sews the seeds for more unsupportable expectations. I'm currently in a writing period and have been steeling myself not to do this -- it will be interesting to see how I then handle this when I'm back to work :) Thank you both.
As a newbie author also writing incredibly personal memoir, I found this topic and your take on it incredibly valuable and generous. I will certainly be drawing those lines when it comes time to promote my book. Many thanks to you both!
I just want on an Elissa Altman memoir binge this last week. I love her writing and I’m a die hard Katherine May fan so these conversations are a dream for me.
Thanks, both, for this. Sitting here in the kitchen with a fig roll and a cup of tea listening with interest. I’m thinking of some of the authors I follow on Instagram etc and that I do get a wee bit tired of the constant plugging. Has it peaked, yet? Who knows! At the same time I understand and appreciate that it’s expected. When I acquired an agent one of the first things she asked me was “how are your socials?” (non existent, pretty much.)
Anyway, conversations / posts by authors that aren’t always about their books, conversations just like this one you two are having, is why I like Substack. Still figuring out, though, how to keep on top of everything I subscribe to or follow. Thanks again. 🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing the reality of difficulty around "No" and importance of it ... I think we all kind of know that we need to establish boundaries but learning what that actually means for us personally and how to do it in the way that is right for us is a learning process.
i could listen to you two all day. found this conversation helpful and comforting. responding only when i really CAN, remembering the shoreline is always shifting.
in some seasons i make myself more available than others, to be sure; finding as i get older i worry not about what folks will experience if i'm not answering right away, i'm more interested in the quality of connection we can create when I *can* be present.
the simultaneous (and ironic) overexposure and isolation you mention feels important to track and modulate the best we can.
lastly, i appreciate your candor and care for one another, and for all of us: both your readers and fellow writers. felt super nourishing to sit with you both.
Thank you for this Elissa and Katherine -- it's a really hard area and this is a courageous and honest conversation to have in a space where you are also commited to your readers. It's so important to raise issues of boundaries and good to see models of them. The taking them personally really resonated -- i work as an editor as well as writer and when I take writing blocks away from the editing nad publishing can get some very dramatic push back from some of the writers I work with (tiny, tiny few, but they make up in persistence and vigour for their small numbers). Like you, I often end up thinking it's easier to comply than to face the wrangle when I'm back to work, but really this just sews the seeds for more unsupportable expectations. I'm currently in a writing period and have been steeling myself not to do this -- it will be interesting to see how I then handle this when I'm back to work :) Thank you both.
As a newbie author also writing incredibly personal memoir, I found this topic and your take on it incredibly valuable and generous. I will certainly be drawing those lines when it comes time to promote my book. Many thanks to you both!
I just want on an Elissa Altman memoir binge this last week. I love her writing and I’m a die hard Katherine May fan so these conversations are a dream for me.
Thanks, both, for this. Sitting here in the kitchen with a fig roll and a cup of tea listening with interest. I’m thinking of some of the authors I follow on Instagram etc and that I do get a wee bit tired of the constant plugging. Has it peaked, yet? Who knows! At the same time I understand and appreciate that it’s expected. When I acquired an agent one of the first things she asked me was “how are your socials?” (non existent, pretty much.)
Anyway, conversations / posts by authors that aren’t always about their books, conversations just like this one you two are having, is why I like Substack. Still figuring out, though, how to keep on top of everything I subscribe to or follow. Thanks again. 🙏🏻